Mother's Day

Mother's day is celebrated in different ways by different people. Some people make a huge deal out of it and it is something akin to Christmas. I am LDS and in the LDS missionary tradition, missionaries are allowed to call home when possible on two days of the year, Christmas is clearly the other one. Mother's day being the second shows the kind of importance the mother plays in a missionary's life. Though it has been years since my mission I can only think of a few time where I have eagerly anticipated making a phone call to someone more and that was to the mother of my children.
Mom's are special in a lot of ways and though everyone enumerates their reasons for their mothers I want to plow through the obvious reasons and cite a couple each for my own mother and my dear wife.
First my own mother. She has had a hard life on many fronts and any lesser woman would have been committed by now with all of the troubles, her German Orneriness and stubbornness to plow through troubles has kept her sane. Her giving up on solving or working through any of those troubles would be the beginning of sanity for her. I saw ti so many times as a child and I still see it today, even though she is slowing down somewhat, mostly due to her health. I am stubborn after the same fashion in selected areas of my life. In picking my battles and the causes for which I actively advocate, I push hard and I don't give up. At times I come across as passive but it is only when there is not anything I can do about the issue at the time so I set it aside and don't worry about it. However I am keenly aware of when I can do something and plan to pounce on it again at that time. Back burner though it may be but the flame is still on.
Another thing about my mother of note is her ability to say "no"at the right time. Most of the time she says "yes" to many things and sometimes she says yes when, for her own good she should have said "no" The ability I am talking about isn't based on her availability to help or the others want for her help, but it is more based upon the growth that others can get if they do it themselves. This in my own life led to a very independent streak and a desire in my self to figure things out and work them out rather than just asking her to do it for me. It would have been easier for her and for me if she did it but practical knowledge is most often gained when someone says "no" but encourages your own discovery of how to surmount their problems. This led me to a smoother transition into real life though it was not without its speed bumps and obstacles. I have had may difficulties myself and I have been able with help from others top work them out. Bailing me out has not been something often but at the right time a well placed "no" has done a lot of good.
Now my own wife, my companion, and my better half, emphasis on the "better" part. She is very different from my mother and in many ways diametric from her. Does this mean she is bad? Absolutely not! What it means is that I have a certain way of doing things and so many of the things I do I get the method from my mother. Learning different ways of doing them has been difficult at times, but eye-opening as well. Early in my marriage I was constantly making suggestions to my wife about how to do things, even side seat driving which drove her nuts. It took me a long time but what I learned is that the way my wife does things is different and it still gets done. Not better, not worse, just different. After a while I started asking myself, doers it really matter which way she does things? Most of the time I said "no, of course not." Then I said to myself, "then be quiet." Most of the time anymore I only give my opinion in one of two situations, when I am asked for it which is usually something like "what do you want for dinner?" The other situation is when I see something that maybe she hadn't and toss it out as a thought but without an agenda attached to it. One example of this was a very recent plan for an anniversary trip we are taking here soon. She was looking at the Canyonlands, or Bryce Canyon and was thinking cabins or bed and breakfast. With the much improved weather, I suggested, "What about Camping?" We hadn't done much and we bothy enjoy it. She lit upon the idea and so we spent the next three or so hours looking for a relatively nearby camping destination and finally found one. After making some preliminary arrangements for our children with some relatives we pulled the trigger on some camping reservations. Now she is excited and after taking with some in laws who have been where we are going, she is even more excited.
One more thing about her. She has a well-hidden adventurous streak about her,t hat does not take a whole lot to uncover. Not flighty or impulsive in the least, she does enjoy the thoughts of future long distance vacations, foreign mission opportunities, or trips to Vegas or Cali just for the fun of being there but without indulging in the carnal elements of them. I am much more of a Homebody. I look forward to opportunities to travel and get out but whether it is for just a dew days or a few weeks, I am always glad to come home. I have two favorite times of the day, time which I relish solely for the existence of them and nothing that may be read into them. When I come home and see my children careening through the living room to give my legs a huge bear hug, and then take a moment to give my wife a big hug and kiss of her own, I breathe in the intangible feeling of home and no matter how my day went I am always happier to now be home. The other time is bedtime and not for the reasons one would think but for the simplest and sweetest. I can lay down at night and rest my head upon my pillow with all of my cares sinking out of my mind and through the floor. Clearing my mind for a good nights rest, I can rest well because my sweet companion is there by my side. If ever she is not there such as the times she was in the hospital with a new child or making a late night milk run to the store the room just doesn't feel right. She is very much a part of me and my life and if for whatever reason she was torn from my side, I would be a useless wreck for years afterward.
Mothers to me are more than people filling a necessary role. They are also more than the calming element in the lives of men that keep them from degrading back to cavemen, (which we would most certainly do without them!) They become as much a part of our lives where there is no part of our lives they don't touch so that in their absence, their lack of influence is noted. That is why college students are such idiots sometimes. The balancing influence of mom is gone and no one has stepped in to fill the void. That is why widowers are so often grouchy old men. Their loves are one and so their hearts are often gone too. All of this can sum up to one final note. When I die, I want her to go at the same time as me, not hours later, or months later, but the same time, if the veil were to separate me from her for any length of time, no matter what I was doing, I would not be a complete man without my wife.
A day for mothers is not nearly enough, but were it more often, it would not be nearly so sweet.